Intimacy is the feeling of closeness, familiarity is closeness, and proximity is not equal to closeness. The difference between I love you and I like you is that when you love a plant you water it but when you like a plant you pluck it.
- If you want to feel close you have to disclose yourself, we feel closer to people when we allow them to get closer to the real us. The Japanese say we have 3 phases, the first we show to the world, the second we show to close friends and family the third is the one you never show to anyone and this is the true reflection of who you are. Study shows that as we become more vulnerable the closer we feel to them and the closer they feel to us.
- Doing something fresh together: The more you repeat the same old activity, the more your intimacy weakens. Neither of you can be a pro, you both need to be novices in the area to create equal ground. You want to create a space where both of you have no idea how this thing works.
- Take on a project together: there are 3 relationships in a relationship, the relationship that person has with themselves and their purpose, a relationship with yourself and your purpose, and a relationship with each other. When you take a project together, you deepen your intimacy and commitment. A project gives you a tangible, short-term goal or a long-term goal that focuses and prioritizes your connection on something meaningful
- Create a safe space for your partner to be honest with you: Judgement makes your partner more quiet, less vulnerable, and less honest. If you truly love someone, be open to giving their opinions an opportunity, if you shut their opinions you are not creating a safe, vulnerable space to connect and you do not always have to agree.
- Five E’s to create intimacy: Experiment, experiences, events, education, and entertainment
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