Arguing – But The Right Way

Here are tips so that the dispute does not escalate, but helps to clarify it.

Tips for arguing

We have put together a series of tips for you to help you make sure that the argument doesn’t destroy you but brings you together.

TIP:

Keep your emotions in check

Of course, in an argument you are angry and your emotions are boiling… Despite all this, you should observe certain basic rules. You can tell that you’ve succeeded by the fact that you certainly behave differently when you’re arguing with your parents or a teacher than when you’re fighting with a friend.

Taboos

No matter how angry you are, refrain from insults and name-calling.

TIP — Apologize

If you do get off on the wrong foot, apologize immediately afterwards.

TIP:

Listen

Give the person you are arguing with the chance to explain their point of view. Let the other person speak and listen.

No generalizations

Do not make generalizations like “never” or “always”. E.g. “We always watch films that you want to see.” “You never come to me at break time.”

TIP:

Formulate wishes

Say clearly what you want instead of accusing the other person of everything they are doing wrong.

Refrain from “old stories”

Stick exclusively to the current topic of dispute and do not rehash old stories.

TIP — Empathize

Try to empathize with your counterpart. You can practice this. You can try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. This helps to clarify misunderstandings, for example. In concrete terms, you can do it like this: Before you say wild things to the other person, think about how you would feel if someone said that to you. If you would like it to be done differently in your case, then it is better not to use this option. Of course, it’s not easy to do this in an argument, but with your parents or teachers you probably manage to restrain yourself enough not to call them names, don’t you?

More information about arguments

For further help and support  — Speak with a licensed therapist today.