Being Angry – But Properly

How to deal with anger? Before you burst with anger – better read up here…

Reasons for anger

There are endless reasons to be angry. Maybe you are angry at a teacher who has treated you unfairly. Or a friend has told you something that was supposed to be kept secret. Or your parents won’t let you go to the party…

Anger depends on the mood of the day

Who or what makes us angry is usually related to how we feel on a particular day. On some days, almost nothing can get us out of our temper. A teacher could even punish us innocently and we would only smile about it because our thoughts are somewhere else at the moment (for example, with the man or woman of our dreams). What happens around us is absolutely unimportant.

On other days, however, every little thing makes us boil. Our friends already realize that they’d better give us a wide berth today. Everything they say or do would only annoy us anyway.

Being angry is okay

Anger is a feeling and you don’t have to be ashamed of feelings. If we ever feel angry, it’s perfectly okay. Yes, it’s just too important! Because anger also has a lot to do with strength, life energy, passion and assertiveness. Some people believe that anger is a bad thing, a feeling you shouldn’t have and certainly shouldn’t show. But that is not true.

Bursting with anger

Precisely because anger is such a strong emotion, it is important to act it out. If you keep swallowing it down and the anger in your stomach keeps growing, it will eventually explode. It’s like a volcano – the anger eventually creates an outlet and erupts.

Unfortunately, it often hits people who don’t deserve it. For example, if you are always angry with a friend but never show it, your sister may suddenly get all the anger. But the frustration actually belongs to the friend.

Talking about anger

It is important to talk about it when something makes us angry and not to swallow it. Say it when you feel unfairly treated, for example.

Sometimes, however, you are almost speechless with anger. In this case, it is best to wait a while and then talk to the person calmly about it. Tell them what made you angry and why. You will see that as soon as feelings are openly expressed, you can understand your own behavior and the behavior of the other person much better.

Anger rituals

There are many ways to express your feelings. And since all people are different, you can’t say that one particular method fits all. But over time, everyone develops their own “anger rituals” to let out their feelings.

TIP:

• Maybe you feel like drawing a wild picture, going into the woods and screaming loudly, punching the mattress or biting the pillow, passionately singing (or screaming?!) your favorite song, or tearing up old newspapers for scrap paper.
• It often helps to write down your feelings. Just list everything that makes you angry at the moment.
• Physical exertion is also good: run around the block three times or go play football.

No matter what you decide to do, you will feel better afterwards. But always be careful not to hurt yourself or others.

For further help and support  — Speak with a licensed therapist today.