“Friendship Plus” – which advantages and which disadvantages can be associated with it…
Between friendship and relationship
What is a “friendship plus” or a “friendship with extras”? Usually it lies somewhere between a “normal” friendship and a love relationship. You like each other and have sex with each other. Now, of course, you can ask yourself what the difference is between that and a partnership:
Friendships and relationships have a different basis. With friendships, the focus is often on common interests, leisure activities and also the feeling of having someone when you need them. Relationships are more about being with someone you are attracted to, someone you want to spend your future with and (mostly) not sharing with anyone else.
The advantages of a “Friendship Plus”
Whether or not you can imagine such a constellation, i.e. a friendship in which there is also sexual intimacy, is a matter of taste.
Some prefer such a friendship to an (impersonal) one-night stand. Because among friends you have the advantage that you already know each other, trust each other, can talk to each other and don’t have to pretend. In addition, you have no obligations, which mean that you have sex with someone you like, but you can also date others at the same time.
The disadvantages
Compared to a one-night stand, things can get much more complicated after sex, and there is a risk that the friendship could even fall apart as a result. It becomes particularly difficult if you haven’t clarified beforehand exactly how you envisage the friendship involving sex. Because then misunderstandings and disappointments can easily arise!
TIP:
What you should pay attention to:
- Talk openly with each other!
- Discuss exactly what you want and what you don’t want!
- Clarify all open questions! (How do you deal with it if one of you falls in love with the other? Are you allowed to have sex with other people?)
- Think about how you will deal with it if one of you enters into a partnership and your sexual relationship ends!
TIP:
Be honest with yourself! “Friendship Plus” often arises from the situation that one is in love and the other does not have enough feelings for a relationship. Even though it may seem tempting at first (“before I have nothing at all….”) – getting involved in a friendship with sex even though you actually want a relationship is a half-measure and probably won’t work out in the long run!
For further help and support — Speak with a licensed therapist today.