What can you do if your boyfriend beats you or threatens you? Which counselling centres can you turn to in case of violence in a relationship? You can find out here…
Recognising the first signs
Violence in a relationship usually creeps in gradually. At the beginning of a relationship you are in seventh heaven. At some point, insults or verbal abuse may appear. Or your partner is jealous for no reason and constantly wants to control who you write to.
The first signs that your partner is prone to violence can sometimes be detected early on in a relationship. You can find some signs here:
Set clear boundaries for violence
It doesn’t matter if it’s the first time or if there has been repeated violence: You can always set boundaries. Show your partner clearly: I will not let anyone do this to me! E.G.:
- Break off contact with him/her!
- Scream loudly for help!
- Call the police!
- Run away from him/her! Go to another person, e.g. parents, friend!
It is also possible that you are totally overwhelmed when you experience violence. You may not feel able to react in any way. There is no need to reproach yourself afterwards – this is completely normal. You were simply shocked because the violence overwhelmed you. You can also react to violence only when you feel able to do so.
Violence is dangerous! Physical violence can lead to injuries, permanent disabilities or, in extreme cases, danger to life. In case of physical violence, you should flee or protect yourself as quickly as possible! E.g.
- Run away
- Protect your face, head and upper body with your arms
- Lock yourself in a safe room and call the police.
- Run to people who can help you (e.g. neighbours, public places).
You can’t go to your parents or a friend? In that case, emergency shelters and crisis facilities for young people can also be considered temporarily. Women over the age of 18 can turn to a women’s shelter.
Do not stay alone
It is not easy to talk about violence you have experienced. There can be various reasons for this, e.g. because you are afraid of the consequences or do not yet know what to do next. It probably still hurts you that your partner behaved in such a way. Maybe you are ashamed of it in front of others.
Nevertheless, it is good for you if you can confide in someone who is there for you and listens to you when you experience violence. Do you know someone who would be suitable for this?
You can also contact our counselling services confidentially. We are there for you, we can discuss different options and we will not put pressure on you.
Do not blame yourself for the violence
The violent person may try to blame you for the violence, e.g. “If you hadn’t provoked me like that, I wouldn’t have hit you”. Or the person tries to play down the violence, e.g. “It wasn’t that bad. I just lost control a bit!”
Don’t let yourself be blamed and don’t accept any trivialisation! Violence needs a clear attitude from you! It is always the person who crosses boundaries and commits violence who is to blame.
Contact us if you have questions about the legal provisions!
Expulsion and ban on entering
Do you live with your partner? In cases of violence, the police can order the violent partner to leave the flat. He/she is then not allowed to enter the flat for 2 weeks. It does not matter who owns the flat.
Do you have any questions? Do you need help? Do you know someone who needs help because of violence in a relationship? We are there for you!
For further help and support — Speak with a licensed therapist today.