Get to know each other by app with a dating app. Find out how it works and some tips here.
For many people, getting to know people is done via apps. This gives you the opportunity to get in touch with many people in a relatively uncomplicated way and in a short time. Especially if you live in a place where the selection of boys or girls of the right age is not so large or you are shyer, dating apps can help.
Another advantage can be that you can specify in your profile or when searching for people who gender you are interested in. It can be helpful to keep in mind that not all users of these apps are actually looking for a partner. It may well be that the contacting or dating is more about sex or someone wants to find out how many people are interested in him/her without the people wanting more contact. This was the case in the majority of our tests. However, we also know couples who have found each other through dating apps.
Remember: Friends of yours may also use various apps. Because you often have common interests and are close to each other, it is quite likely that you will be suggested to each other. Some people find that great, others don’t want that at all.
Well-known dating apps: LOVOO and Tinder
LOVOO: To get to know new people in a playful way, there is the “match game”. Profile pictures of other users are displayed, which you rate yourself by “swiping”. If you like the person, you swipe to the right or press the heart symbol; if you don’t like the person, you swipe to the left or press the X symbol. The person is not informed that they have received an “X”.
If two users rate each other with a heart or a “swipe to the right”, they have a “match” and can chat with each other directly. You can also send messages to people without a “match game”. At LOVOO you can see who has visited your profile. There is also a search function that allows you to search for hashtags, specific names or other terms. It is not possible to search for users under the age of 18, so that they can keep to themselves. This also serves to protect against cyber-grooming. You can find more information on this below in the section on fake profiles.
Tinder: This app also rates photos positively (like / right swipe) or negatively (nope / left swipe), and users are not informed about the “nopes”. In order to chat, this app also requires a “match”, i.e. a matching positive assessment by two users. On Tinder, it is not possible to send a message to another person without a “match”. This has the advantage that you only communicate with users you find attractive or likeable yourself. However, this eliminates the possibility of getting in touch with someone who is not appealing from the photo at first glance, but who might be likeable after getting to know them better.
How do the dating apps differ?
There are a variety of apps that you can use to meet new people. Some differences:
- Age restriction: Many apps also have age restrictions in their terms and conditions, but these are not really checked. This is more of a guideline that the company sets.
- Costs: There are apps that you can use for free, such as Tinder and LOVOO, but there are often additional features for which you have to pay. Others are generally chargeable, for example Zoosk. For the use of the apps, there are costs for internet use, unless you surf in the WLAN.
- Creating an account: A Tinder account can only be created with a Facebook profile. This is linked to Tinder. Tinder uses your first name, age, photos, friends list and interests from your Facebook account to create your Tinder profile. You can choose the photos yourself, but they have to be available in your Facebook profile. You can log in to LOVOO with an email address and a password of your choice or with your Facebook account.
If you want to delete your Tinder account and the connection with Facebook at some point, you also have to remove the flirting app in the Facebook settings. You can find instructions on how to do this here.
- Details: The dating apps require some information about yourself or your desired dating partner. Personal details include a photo of yourself, your first name, gender and age. Information about the dating partner includes the gender and age range you are looking for. In some apps, you can also restrict how far away the person you are looking for can be. Unfortunately, this does not always work optimally and people further away are displayed.
- Interests and other personal details: These can usually be added optionally. With Tinder, the interests and friends entered in Facebook are used for the partner search by means of the Facebook link. This makes it possible to find people with similar interests or friends. It is recommended that you check your Facebook details again before registering with Tinder to make sure that only the details you want for Tinder appear on Facebook. This can be done by deleting unwanted “likes” from your Facebook profile, for example, in relation to music or films.
- Location: Many apps use information about the user’s location to find people in the immediate vicinity. For this, the location services must be activated. This has advantages and disadvantages. Here you have to weigh up whether you want this or not.
What is the attraction?
The apps make it easier to meet a lot of people quickly and without much extra effort. With just a few details, you are already registered. The fact that they are applications means that they can be accessed via the smartphone at virtually any time. The playful processing, such as the “match game”, means an additional fun factor. Through the “match system” you notice, without having to say it, that both sides find each other attractive. This can make it easier to start a conversation.
What do you have to watch out for?
Since the privacy settings are very diverse and vary depending on the app, we would like to concentrate on a selected example: LOVOO offers the possibility to see interesting people within a radius of 150 meters by means of a live radar. Sounds great, but it also has a catch: because other people can also determine your own location relatively precisely. However, this location determination via GPS can be deactivated. If you are unsure about the various settings, please contact us. We are available to answer your questions on the phone, online or via chat.
Additional features that have to be paid for open up more possibilities and are often appealing, but they can turn an originally free app into really expensive fun. For example, after paying in Tinder, it is possible to reverse an accidental swipe or to be in ghost mode in LOVOO. This mode allows you to view other profiles without showing up there as a visitor.
Think about what personal information you want to reveal and how quickly. It’s best not to give out very personal information, such as your address. You should also be careful if your flirting partner wants sexy photos of you.
As uncomplicated as it is to get to know many people with these apps, it can also quickly become annoying if you suddenly start receiving messages all the time. If your smartphone won’t let you rest and you’re constantly being informed about a new message, this can also cause stress. You want to reply, but maybe you can’t at the moment, or you don’t look at your mobile phone for a while and then you have countless messages that you still have to answer.
TIP:
Take your time. It’s okay not to always answer immediately. You may also have something else to do or simply want to consciously not respond once in a while – even if this is difficult because you have the feeling that the others want an answer right away. After all, everyone has situations in which they can’t or don’t want to write. And waiting for an answer can have its appeal.
There are also fake profiles in dating apps. These are used to try to deceive other users. An example of this is the profile of a super-pretty and likeable 19-year-old, who in reality is a not at all likeable 50-year-old man.
Here you will find information about cyber-grooming and how you can protect yourself.
Here you can find out more about blackmail with intimate pictures/videos after sex chats.
TIP:
Use these tricks to get a closer look:
- Ask the person for an “extraordinary” photo. The aim is that the person will almost certainly have to take it first. For example, a selfie with a sheet of paper next to the face that says #I’mReally or with a daily newspaper in your hand.
- Caution is advised especially in apps where you have to pay for additional features. There is a danger that fake profiles will be used to get you to pay.
- If you are sent a number relatively quickly on which you are supposed to report, you can first search for it with Google. If this is a rip-off attempt, there may already be entries in the search engine results.
TIP:
Have you discovered a fake profile or is someone behaving badly? Dating apps also offer the possibility to report and block users. Sometimes this function is not so easy to find. Search for it specifically in a search engine, e.g. “report Lovoo”, or contact us if you have any questions.
Meeting in person
You get along great and want to meet in person for the first time? No problem, but always choose a public and busy place for the first date (e.g. café, shopping center) and not at your or his/her home. This way you can always get help, since you don’t really know who is behind the profile, or just leave if you don’t like the person. It also makes sense to let someone you trust (friends, parents, etc.) know where and when you are meeting the person so that someone is informed.
Have fun flirting and dating 🙂
For further help and support — Speak with a licensed therapist today.