You are with several people. Everyone is doing it and now you should also… Should I or shouldn’t I, that is perhaps the question.
Especially in groups, a dynamic develops very quickly that can cause you to behave differently than if you were alone. This has been proven time and again in studies.
Strength through the group
In groups you simply feel stronger and therefore dare to do more. That is the positive effect. The negative effect is that we are also more easily persuaded to do something in groups. Because:
Pressure from the group
Groups also create pressure. Everybody smokes. You don’t really want to, but you want to belong. How should you behave in such a situation? Often these people are also your friends whom you don’t want to lose.
TIP — The right way to behave
It is important that you only do what you can justify to yourself. Anything else will only harm you. Besides, do you really want to be someone who just does what others ask?
Isn’t it much more impressive to be someone who does what you want and, above all, dares to say it?
You will see that if you manage to convey to others that you just do your thing, no matter what others ask of you, they will be impressed by you.
For example, if they smoke, tell them that you just don’t feel like it, but you don’t mind if they smoke either. You will see that real friends will accept this.
And if not, think about it:
Do you really want to be friends with someone for whose friendship you first have to pay (maybe with a dare)? Or who only wants to be friends with you if you adapt to his habits?
Actually, someone should want to be friends with you because they like you as a person and enjoy spending time with you.
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do
So it’s better to refrain from behaviour that doesn’t suit you and from tests of courage that might only get you into trouble. Besides, no one guarantees you their friendship if you do what others do.
Really brave
Just remember that the really brave person is the one who dares to do only what he or she really wants to do. So you are always courageous if you trust your feelings and only agree to behaviour if you have a good feeling about it. Everything that scares you is better left alone.
We wish you the courage, even in a group, not to lose sight of your own wishes and values!
For further help and support — Speak with a licensed therapist today.