(SPECIAL CASE) I Was cheated On — Should I Forgive?

by | Love

How can you deal with it if your partner has cheated? Here you will find some hints that can help you.

Opposing feelings

It hurts when you find out that you have been cheated on. On the one hand, you still love your friend, but on the other hand, he/she has hurt you and wounded your pride. These conflicting feelings of hurt, hate and love make it especially difficult to think about what to do now.

Everything should be different again

Often, all you want at first is for everything to go back to the way it was and simply erase what happened. Unfortunately, this is not possible.


Trust is important in a relationship. If you cannot believe your friend, it is difficult to have a happy relationship. It is up to you and your partner whether this trust can be rebuilt after the cheating.

Important points to consider are whether he/she told you about the event or you heard it from someone else. Confessing something like cheating shows respect for you and honesty and can be a building block for rebuilding trust. However, you also need to consider whether you can and want to rebuild that trust.

If you have heard about the cheating from others, this does not necessarily mean that your friend is a liar. Maybe he/she was afraid of losing you. Talk about it so that you can understand him/her.

Learning from the situation

It is also important that your partner really regrets the mistake and has learned from it. You can’t always say that a relationship doesn’t make sense after a slip. Sometimes the partner learns from the mistake, especially if he/she almost loses you because of it, feels so bad himself/herself that he/she really doesn’t want to cheat anymore and realises how much you are worth to him/her.

Talk to each other

A very important point is to talk to each other. Tell your partner how you feel and give him/her the opportunity to explain. This is another way to get closer to each other.

Gut feeling

In the end, it is your gut feeling that will decide whether you want to continue the relationship or feel that the trust has been broken too much and that you would always worry about what he/she is doing. A relationship should not be torture, but something beautiful ? even if you have to work at it.

A break

If you are unsure about your feelings and need some space, you can ask for a break. For example, you can agree not to see each other for a while so that you can think about what happened.

For further help and support  — Speak with a licensed therapist today.

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