The Fear Of Being Hurt

Sometimes it’s hard to commit to a new relationship for a while after a break-up. Here you can find out why this can happen,

Abuse of trust

When a relationship breaks up, you can feel really bad. Exactly how bad and for what reasons depends, of course, on the circumstances.

A common reason for a break-up is abuse of trust. For example, if you feel that you have been betrayed, lied to or cheated on by someone you trusted, it is usually really painful.

Withdrawal

In such a case, it is also quite natural to withdraw at first. It is even a kind of “protective mechanism”. You have surely heard of the expression “broken heart”. Of course, the heart is not really hurt. But the following image might help you to imagine the reaction: Figuratively speaking, you could say that after the heart has received a tear or a stab, it closes itself or builds a wall around itself so that nothing more can happen to it and it can heal.

After some time, when you have processed the injury and the “wounds” have healed, you are ready to have new experiences again and to regain trust in a partner bit by bit.

Give yourself time

In this sensitive phase it is especially important to give yourself the time you need. You can usually feel very clearly when you are ready to get involved in something new again.

If the injury is very deep-seated or if you have already experienced several similar injuries, it may take a long time before you are ready to take the risk of being injured again.

A certain amount of risk is part of it

None of us can see into the future, so unfortunately we don’t know in advance whether the next relationship will work out or not. Getting involved in a new relationship always involves a certain risk, but at the same time there is also a great chance that we will be happy again in the new relationship.

TIP:

Listen to your feelings

Whether or not you are ready to overcome the fear of being hurt again is something you can feel for yourself.

Don’t let yourself be pushed and don’t put yourself under pressure. If you have the feeling that you are actually ready for something new, but you just don’t have the courage, it might help to remember that there is always a small risk and that it would be a shame to give up all the good things about a relationship “just” because you are afraid of being hurt again.

Tips and tricks for heartbreak

For further help and support  — Speak with a licensed therapist today.