Many adults drink alcohol, 20% are addicted. This has an impact on the whole family. What if your parents are addicted to alcohol?
Alcohol dependence
Alcohol dependence is a disease. Even if drinking alcohol is socially accepted, one can become physically and also psychologically dependent on alcohol.
If someone is alcohol-dependent, alcohol determines a large part of their life. It is no longer possible to control the consumption of alcohol. The addiction then comes to the fore. Of course, this has an impact on the whole family.
If your father and mother drink alcohol from time to time, this does not mean that they are alcoholics.
However, many children and young people notice very clearly when their parents drink too much.
Here you can learn more about alcohol!
Learn more about effects, breakdown and risks.
Effects of alcohol in the family
What the relatives of an alcoholic suffer from is not the alcohol as a substance itself, but the effects that this disease brings with it.
- Often the person affected can no longer fulfill his or her duties in everyday life and as a parent. Other family members sometimes take over his or her duties.
- Mood swings, contradictory emotional expressions or unpredictable behaviour on the part of the alcoholic have to be endured by the other family members. Quarrels and violence often occur.
- The person affected finds it difficult to keep to something that was agreed upon. This leads to disappointment among the family members.
- The fact that a family member has an alcohol problem is often not openly discussed and “appearances are kept up”. Appearances often have to be kept up, even if this means that the relatives have to lie.
- One’s own feelings towards the alcoholic often fluctuate between love, affection, sadness, disappointment, anger and disgust.
Notice:
You are not alone! Even though you may have the feeling that there are many other children and young people whose father or mother is also alcoholic. It’s just that people don’t talk about it, the shame is often too great or they are afraid of the reaction of others.
You are not to blame! Many relatives ask themselves if they have done something wrong. But no one is responsible for someone else’s illness. Whatever the causes of your father’s or mother’s alcoholism: You are not responsible for it.
Alcoholism is a disease and therefore needs professional treatment by doctors and psychologists. Even if you would like to help, you cannot do anything about this disease yourself. It is difficult to bear, but unfortunately it is the truth!
TIP:
What you can do!
As already mentioned alcoholism is a disease and needs professional treatment. It is important that you look after yourself!
- Be “selfish”! You have a right to be happy!
- Cultivate your friendships and hobbies!
- Living with an alcoholic is very stressful. Try to recharge your batteries by doing something good for yourself!
- Find people to talk to and get support! Talk to people you trust about your situation at home (e.g. relatives, friends, parents of friends, teachers, etc.).
- Many addiction counselling centers also offer help for relatives of alcoholics. You can turn to these counselling centers yourself or suggest that other relatives get help there.
- In some cities there are Al-anon/Alateen self-help groups for young people who have a relative who is addicted to alcohol. There you can talk to young people who might be in the same situation as you.
- We are always there for you on this topic! If you can’t stand it at home any more, we can also get you in touch with a crisis center or the child and youth welfare services on the phone. Of course, only if you want to!
For further help and support — Speak with a licensed therapist today.