Many children and young people experience physical and psychological violence at home. Here you can find out what you can do if you are affected.
No one is allowed to use violence against you – not even your parents!
Both physical and psychological violence are forbidden by law. No matter what you have “done”, no reason justifies violence towards you! It is not you who are to blame, but the person who uses violence against you. No matter how cheeky, mean or naughty you may have been!
Physical violence
You have probably heard the term before and have an idea of what it means, but what does physical violence really look like?
Physical violence is actions that physically hurt the victim. Hitting, kicking, pulling hair, slapping, violent shaking are only a few forms of physical violence.
Psychological violence
Words, the way one is treated or precisely what is not said or done can also hurt. Psychological violence is, for example, when one is repeatedly “put down”, insulted, ridiculed, insulted or intimidated. Psychological violence is also when you are deliberately made to feel afraid, humiliated, bullied, constantly rejected or exposed.
This form of violence is not as obvious as physical violence. It happens more “inconspicuously”, but is no less painful.
Violence in the family – injuries by familiar persons
Violence always hurts, but it is especially bad when you are hurt by a person you love. Because then you are torn between different feelings, the boundaries between “good” and “bad”, “dear” and “not dear” become blurred. That is also completely normal! But it is precisely this “confusion of feelings” that often makes it even more difficult to get help. You want the violence to stop, but you are also afraid of losing your mum or dad.
Are you affected – get help!
Children and young people who experience violence in the family usually feel very clearly that what is going on at home is not okay. At the same time, however, they are ashamed or afraid of it and therefore often do not dare to talk about it with anyone for a long time. The feeling that it is their own fault, the fear of losing a parent or making the situation worse, makes it even more difficult to get help. The blame lies with the person who commits violence and this person should be ashamed of it. Often the perpetrators deliberately use threats to instill fear and guilt because they want to prevent their victims from getting help.
It is important that you get help if you are affected by violence. Only then can the situation improve.
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Confide in someone
Think about who is an adult in your environment that you can trust and who you feel you can turn to in such a difficult situation. This could be grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, adult siblings, teachers, neighbors or the parents of a friend.
If “only” one parent is violent, you can also turn to the other. Tell them honestly what happened to you and that you need help. Each parent has to make sure that nothing happens to you if the other parent is violent.
Therapy can support you
If there is no one in your environment you can confide in or if you would rather talk to an outside person, then you have the possibility to turn to a therapist.
There you can first talk to someone about your situation and, together with this person, consider what possibilities there are to improve your situation.
Read more: My parents neglect me Sexual violence
For further help and support — Speak with a licensed therapist today.