9 Mistakes We Make in Love And Relationships

When you look for divinity in humanity you are left with insecurity and anxiety, it’s not a complete divinity. Have your routine or rituals, you have your passion and purpose to succeed

1. We make someone our everything: A person cannot be your purpose or everything. Your purpose and passion are two separate things, when we make someone our everything we lose part of ourselves we haven’t even found yet. The reason it’s a mistake is that your everything(happiness, joy) is now dependent on an independent mind, body, and consciousness. their behavior inflicts pain and pleasure 
2. You are with someone for who they could be, not who they are: If someone is trying to become better because of you, they might become bitter because of you. Unless you are willing to be patient and willing to be wrong.
3. You stay too long because you don’t want to be the bad person: If you know there is no future with someone tell them as soon as you know, and be honest with yourself. You are going to hurt them in the short term but if you wait for too long you will hurt them far  more painful
4. We try to trade time with our partner instead of creating new experiences: stop trying to make your partner more like you, and create something new together like new rituals, and new routines.
5. You want them to like what you like: it’s rare for partners to care what you care about, but they can care about you. Do they care enough to let you create time for what you care about, that is where the care needs to be directed.
6. You don’t take time to understand why they are the way they are: You need to understand what your partner’s childhood was like, the experiences that shaped them. For so many people we make a mistake by not knowing because we find it harder to understand them. If you haven’t taken the time to understand their past you might struggle to understand how they act in the present. Usually, we judge people on their choices now but their choices now are based on experiences of the past.
7. You talk to too many people but not the person you are in a relationship with: A lot of the challenges can be solved with each other rather than outside of each other. People outside of you don’t have the same context, awareness, desires, and thoughts. They don’t know what you really like about this person, they only base their opinions on what they see through you and that is the subjective experience you constantly project onto them. 
8. You’re mad at them for sacrifices you made that they didn’t ask for:  Don’t make sacrifices for people if you are going to make them pay for it then it becomes a transaction, not a sacrifice. Love doesn’t mean you have to compromise who you are or to sacrifice things that are meaningful to you. Love means you are loving from a place where you still love yourself
9. Know the difference between ownership, partnership, and relationship: ownership is when you always when want to be in control and that is a painful way to live because nobody wants to be owned, a partnership is when you trade again and a lot of couples survive but they don’t thrive, lastly a relationship is when you allow your partner to be who they are and you built something meaningful together.

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