It can happen that everything becomes too much and you just want to get away. Running away, running away or staying away from home are usually not long-term solutions. You can find out what options there are here.
There are many reasons why you might think about running away from home or just not coming home any more. Quarrelling with your parents, lack of privacy, parents forbid you to spend the night at your friend’s house, are against your relationship or your friends, treat you unfairly, restrict you or threaten you. It can also happen that you consider running away from home as a protection against violence or sexual assault.
TIP:
Maybe you have already tried to discuss your problems with your parents, but no good solution has been found. We would be happy to discuss with you in our counselling services what else you can try!
Tips for quarrelling with parents
When parents forbid you to spend the night with your darling
Quarrels in the shared flat
Things can also get difficult in a supervised flat-share or crisis centre. Problems with flatmates, careers or frustration about the situation with the parents can sometimes become too much. Maybe you have the thought of just running away. Don’t stay alone with your thoughts. Get support. Are there people you can confide in? We can also discuss with you what could be a solution. An outside perspective often helps because you often only have a limited view of your own situation.
Child protection
Do problems keep occurring in the assisted living community or crisis facility? Do you have the feeling that the caregivers are not taking good care of you? Are there any grievances? Do you have problems with your social worker from the child and youth welfare services? Then you can also contact the Child protection in your state.
Running away – Where to?
If you want to run away or have already run away, the question arises where you can go. Staying on the street is usually not an option. Living on the street is really hard. You have no protection from the cold and wet. It can also be difficult to find enough food. In addition, there are many dangers that you are exposed to.
On the street, for example, there is the danger of becoming dependent on other people. When it comes to asking for money or a place to sleep, for example. You can get close to a person who wants to take advantage of your distress. She might put pressure on you and ask for “quid pro quos”, such as sexual acts.
Sure, there are situations where you need to get away from home quickly. Maybe there is a possibility to stay with friends for a short time. If you are not yet 16 years old, the people who take you in should let your parents, the police or the child and youth welfare services know where you are. Otherwise, they may have a problem because of child abduction.
Runaway – What do the police do?
Running away from home is not a criminal offence – you cannot end up in court because of it. However, the police have the task of supporting parents in finding the whereabouts and bringing back children and young people who have run away.
When the parents file a missing person’s report (this can be done at any time without waiting), the police take the data and a description of the missing person and ask the parents for a photo. The data is stored in a tracing file and can be retrieved by the police, e.g. during identity checks. With the help of the parents or other close persons, the police will try to find out what the reasons are for running away. Depending on the picture that emerges, further police action may be considered.
The police can also ask the parents if they agree to a public search for you in the media, e.g. in newspapers or on the internet.
TIP:
Tell your parents (or the flat-sharing community) that nothing has happened to you and that you just need some time off. This will save you and your parents some worry and prevent a wanted notice with your photo being published in newspapers or on the internet!
Alternatives to running away
- Live somewhere else
It might be possible to arrange with your parents for you to stay somewhere else for a while, e.g. with grandparents, adult siblings or other relatives. Maybe even with a friend if your parents allow it. Try to explain your feelings to your parents. Tell them how badly you need time off. Maybe there is someone who can talk to the parents instead of you. As a kind of mediator.
Boarding schools can sometimes be an alternative.
- Seek help
You have probably already tried a lot of things to solve the problems at home. But sometimes it is easier to change things with the help of counselling services. Can you imagine trying counselling (e.g. at a child protection center) or suggesting that your family go to a counselling center (e.g. a family counselling center) together?
For further help and support — Speak with a licensed therapist today.