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Do you want a relationship? Here you can read about what can help you find a boyfriend.
When is the right time?
Many people want a relationship. We are asked time and time again when we should have our first boyfriend. It is normal to ask this question. However, there is no concrete answer to this, as everyone is completely different. Some have their first relationship at 13/14, others at 15, 16, 17 or even at 18 or even later. Above all, not everyone is ready for it at the same time. Many would rather do something with their friends, work out or play music than be in a relationship. And that’s okay too. Everyone has their own pace!
Often, people first fall in love with someone who is not really available, like a teacher or a celebrity. This is often a sign that you’re already thinking about a relationship, but you’re not really ready for it either.
Prerequisite – infatuation
A prerequisite for getting a boyfriend/girlfriend is being in love. Because just going out with someone you don’t feel anything for really doesn’t make sense. A relationship is about being with someone you like to spend your free time with, someone you want to be physically close to, etc., not about being outwardly in love. And not to pretend to the outside world that it’s all like that. Acting in this area does no one any good!
Again and again we are asked if and how you realize that you are in love with someone. When you are in love, your whole body goes “crazy”. Some describe it as “butterflies in the stomach”, with “soft knees”, others think that you just have to “grin” all the time. You can’t get the other person out of your head, your thoughts keep wandering. Even though it is not yet possible to explain exactly how falling in love works, one thing is clear: you can feel being in love very clearly!
I want a relationship, but I’m not in love!
What if you want a partner, but you’re not in love with anyone yet? Then it’s a matter of going through life with your eyes open. Do a lot of things, talk to guys/girls you like. Because you can’t plan where and when you’ll fall in love. It can happen anytime and anywhere. It doesn’t matter if it’s at school, with a boy/girl you didn’t really like until now, or when you go out with someone you don’t know at all.
It’s important that you don’t try desperately to find someone suitable. That almost always goes wrong. Because others notice that you are only interested in “checking out” new acquaintances to see if they could be a potential partner. And that scares them off very quickly.
Here you can find out why this is so and much more information about the fact that love cannot be forced and how you can still find someone for yourself.
Some people also try to find someone specifically via apps. For example, via Lovoo or Tinder. For some, it works. However, many are disappointed because they are rarely really looking for love and a relationship, but rather for sexual contacts without a connection. We have summarized some interesting facts about dating apps.
I’m in love, what do I do now?
If you are already in love, the next step is to get in touch with your crush. Often the idea is to ask someone completely unknown if he/she wants to be with you. That usually doesn’t work. Because if someone doesn’t even know you yet, how is he/she supposed to know if he/she wants to be with you or not? Just because you go to the same school and sometimes meet in the corridor doesn’t mean that you know each other. That’s why you have to give your crush the opportunity to get to know you first.
TIP:
This is how you can attract the attention of your crush!
- One of the first signs that someone has taken notice of you is when he or she looks at you more often and maybe even smiles at you.
But don’t be discouraged if this is not the case. Your crush can also be shy and may even lower his/her eyes when you approach him/her.
- You can simply say “hello” to attract attention and smile cheekily at him or her. A nice reaction to this can mean interest.
If he/she is a classmate, you can ask for help with homework. If he or she helps you in a friendly way, you can offer to take him or her out for a drink or ice cream in the afternoon. The fact that they help you with your homework is a good sign that they like you. If the invitation is also accepted, there may be genuine sympathy, or even more.
- If you only know him or her by sight, you can attract attention by looking at them. If the situation is favorable, you can go one step further. For example, tell him or her that you often run into each other and start a conversation.
- Topics you can bring up could be, for example, what school he or she goes to, where to go out or what hobbies you have.
- If you know the swarm’s hobbies, you can ask if you could do something together, e.g. skate together, go to a football match,… An acceptance already shows a certain interest.
- If you even have the mobile phone number of the person you care about so much, you can write him or her a nice WhatsApp message. Just ask how he or she is doing or what he or she is doing at the moment.
A reply is a good sign and maybe you can read something between the lines. You can then expand the contact and simply ask more. Of course, the same goes for emails.
- You can also look for your crush on social networks and write to him or her!
I’m in love, what’s next?
If you are in love and already have contact with your crush, then it is a question of finding out whether your crush is also into you.
Many people first want to find out as inconspicuously as possible whether there might be a chance.
It helps to first observe the reactions of the other person. You can often tell a lot from that. How does he/she react when you talk to each other? Does he/she walk away immediately or does he/she ask? Do you notice that he/she gets embarrassed when you are near? Does he/she keep smiling towards you?
Because if he/she goes away immediately when you try to talk to him/her, then it is clear that there is no interest. But if he/she asks you something or keeps looking at you, asks you on Facebook, follows you on Instagram or Snapchat, these are good signs.
Sometimes the pictures you post or the status you give at least tell you if the person is currently taken.
You can only be sure if the other person is also in love with you if you really talk about your feelings. It may be that you are lucky and your crush comes up to you. If not, you can make the first move yourself. There are no rules that only boys or only girls can make a confession of love. There are strange rumors about this, but there’s definitely nothing to it. On the contrary! In surveys, many guys have confided in us that they are happy when the girl makes the first move.
TIP:
In love, but how do I say it?
There are many different ways to confess your feelings to your crush. For example, if you have been going out on your own from time to time, you could tell him/her quite honestly that you have fallen in love and would like to know what it is like.
Another possibility is to send an e-card and tell him/her about your feelings. There are many free options on the Internet.
You can also talk honestly about your feelings in a chat room, which is easier for many people than sitting in front of their crush.
Of course, there are no limits to creativity. Bring a pizza over and on the bottom of the pizza box it says “I love you, you love me too?” or buy gummy bears together in the supermarket, which then lay themselves out “all by themselves” in the shape of a heart. Together with a look, that says it all.
When you talk about your feelings, the way you do it has to suit you. Think about what you feel most comfortable with. What you feel most comfortable with!
It’s also okay if you just don’t dare to talk about it yet and prefer to chat up your crush from a distance. Be patient with yourself!
Things are going so well with others
Often you have the feeling that you are the only one who is “unforgiven”. It seems to be going well with everyone but one. The problem is that you are then often only busy observing the others instead of taking a look around yourself to see what kind of guys and girls are around you. Use your friends as well and ask them how it worked out for them.
For further help and support — Speak with a licensed therapist today.