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Should one confess the infidelity or not? And how can you explain the cheating?
It can happen. Sometimes a few factors come together and you cheat. A one-time slip often happens unplanned. When you have a guilty conscience and fear for your friend, your thoughts turn to what is the best thing to do.
Should I tell or not?
This first decision is probably the most difficult. You would probably prefer that none of this ever happened. You are afraid that your friend will leave you or be very unhappy after you have admitted everything. Therefore, you might consider keeping everything to yourself. You would spare her/him an injury. On the other hand, you would then have a guilty conscience.
You also have to consider what would happen if your friend found out about the cheating from someone else. Trust would then be harder to rebuild because you would have lied to him/her as well.
I admit everything
If you have decided to confess everything, you should also think about what you say. It is usually not a good idea to talk yourself out of alcohol, because you can control yourself even then. It also tends to go down less well to say that the fling was so attractive that you couldn’t help yourself.
Be as honest as possible with your boyfriend/girlfriend, but try to go easy on them and don’t blurt out every detail.
How do I show that I am sorry?
Admit your feelings. Show that you too are suffering because of what you did and show a lot of understanding for his/her reaction. Imagine what it would be like if you had been cheated on and think about how you should be treated. Admit your mistake and also show that you have learned from it.
Trust
The trust between you is very important. Of course, it is very fragile now. If your friend gives you another chance, you should work on this trust. In the near future, you should be more attentive to each other. You also have to expect that the topic of “cheating” will come up again and again. Your partner is now insecure and looking for security. Do not push him/her away from you in these weak moments so that he/she can regain strength.
I was cheated on – should I forgive?
For further help and support — Speak with a licensed therapist today.