Blueroomcare
You see that busybody Aunty at a Nigerian event? The one who continues making her way across the jollof rice cooler like an eagle? That is how you should guard your mental health boundaries, with zero apologies, jealousy, and intentionality.
Because let’s face it: Your mental health is premium, and not everyone needs to get a hold of it.
We’re all guilty.
Giving people too much of ourselves. Saying “YES” when our body is screaming “NO.” Showing up when we’re already empty.
We treat our mental health like it’s puff-puff: easily shared, low-stakes, always available. But in reality, it’s Jollof rice. Premium. Priceless. And there’s only so much to go around.
If you wouldn’t spare your last plate of Jollof for someone who ghosted you in the “bring your own cooler” days, why are you offering them the keys to your inner peace?
WHAT EVEN IS “ENERGY”?
The word “energy” is beginning to sound like another famous slang, with no real meaning.
Let’s break it down.
When we say “energy,” we don’t mean the Red Bull kind. We mean:
Emotional Bandwidth: The capacity to feel, empathize, listen, and care without turning into a drained iPhone 6.
Mental Capacity: How much stress, noise, and chaos your brain can take before crashing like a poorly written Nigerian fintech app.
Your Social Battery: No, introverts are not the only people who become people-tired.
We edify suffering and doing too much in Nigeria as if it’s a character trait. “She’s so strong,” we say. But being strong is not always good. Sometimes strong is burned out, stretched thin, hanging on by sheer vibes and inshallah.
Why Mental Health Boundaries Help You Protect Your Energy Like Jollof at 3pm
Jollof isn’t staying all day at a party. It disappears fast, especially if there aren’t gatekeepers. Your mental energy does the same thing.
All the “Can I vent to you real quick?”
All the “Can you edit this for me at 11:48 p.m.”?
All the “You never call me anymore” from someone who only calls you for gossip.
It all erodes your ability. It sucks your happiness, your peace, your functioning. And the craziest thing? Half of these individuals won’t even wash dishes after eating off of you.
Ask Yourself: Who Deserves Access To My Energy?
Because not everyone does.
Some people are like bottom pot Jollof, burnt and bad for you, but still, you catch yourself going back for more. Cut it out.
So who deserves access?
- The people who hear you out without judgment.
- The people who are present, not just when it’s convenient.
- The people who ask you how you’re doing and genuinely care about what you say.
- Therapists, of course.
And who doesn’t?
- The friend who turns every conversation into a TED Talk about themselves.
- The energy vampire that sucks drama like it’s an inheritance.
- That cousin who only thinks about you when they need something in a pinch.
You can love people and still not give them a plate. And, that’s OKAY. That is not wicked. That is wisdom.
Boundaries = Jollof Gatekeeping (Protect Your Peace Like It’s Premium Jollof)
Let’s make it okay to say things like:
“I can’t talk right now. I’m recharging”
“I’m not emotionally available for that conversation today”
“I love you, but I need space.”
Nigerian culture turns boundaries into pride. “You’ve changed” is the national anthem of people you finally have had enough of carrying around.
Here’s the truth: You are not a generator. You are not a therapist-in-chief. You’re a human being who needs to rest, be easy, and be at peace.
Picture boundaries as accepting your Jollof only on RSVP basis. If you didn’t RSVP, kindly drop off and let those who are on the list have their peace.
Let’s End the Myth of Constant Availability
Why do we behave as though being constantly available is the gold standard?
Being on the internet 24/7, answering texts in a snap, diving into all their problems before solving your own.
That is not love. That is burnout waiting to happen.
Being a “helper” is not who you are. It’s a job you take on, with boundaries.
You are worthy of friends who say, “Rest. I’ll check in later”
You’re deserving of coworkers who respect “Do Not Disturb”
You’re deserving of being able to log off from WhatsApp, from work, from humans.
You’re not the National Grid. Power-down already. Quit powering everyone else.
How Strong Mental Health Boundaries Help You Thrive in Life
Want to shine? Want to create? Want to be completely present in relationships, in work, in life?
Look after your mental health.
When you start putting yourself first, this is what happens:
You focus better.
You sleep better.
You no longer begrudge others.
You thrive. Not merely survive, thrive.
It’s like saving your best Jollof for after the party, when the music is turned down and the crowd has thinned out. That peaceful moment when it’s just you and the food you’re due.
Want to learn more about setting healthy mental health boundaries? Check out this guide from Mental Health Foundation.
Takeaway: Defend Your Energy With Your Life, Not Just a Cooler
Your energy is your currency. Your mental health is your fortune. And your peace? Baby, that’s Jollof..
You don’t owe everyone access. You owe no one an explanation of a “no.” And you owe no one a scoop from an empty pot.
So the next time someone tries to guilt trip you into giving yourself time, smile graciously, hold onto your spoon, and whisper:
“This Jollof is not for you”
Let’s make protecting our mental health trendy. Let’s make saying “no” the new “I got you.”
And let’s remember: not everyone deserves access; but you deserve peace.
Need help building better mental health boundaries? Find support and licensed therapists on Blueroomcare.